More about me

Often times I wonder about things. I think about my past and how it shaped my present. I think a lot of this blog will be me recounting past relationships. I tend to be a bit introspective from a silent place. I rarely let my thoughts be known.

I miss that part of me.

Do I miss anyone from my past? No, not really. I don't really ever miss anyone or anything. That could be both a good thing or a bad thing.

I dated this one girl in my past. I'll call her Beautiful. In the beginning everything went so well. She was all that I could ask for in a woman. But as things progressed, I started to notice all the little cracks in her facade. It's not as if I were being picky either. I started to notice the things that made her un-beautiful. Over time the un-beautiful things about her started to overshadow the beautiful things about her, to the point where it became unbearable.

I still talk to her. She has hopes of working things out. I'm not sure where I stand on it. She wants kids. I don't, at least not until way later in life. I enjoy having no ties. I would miss picking up at a moment's notice and leaving for destinations unknown.

I think that's part of the problem. I enjoy having no ties. I want my cake and to eat it too. I love women and it doesn't make me good relationship material. I'm not some whore by any means, but I do enjoy the company of a woman. If I could enjoy a woman without the hurdles of a relationship then I would. I don't make this a secret. I'm upfront about it. I've heard so many times that that's what a woman wants - the intimacy (all forms, not just sex) without the hardships and heartbreak. Inevitably it all ends up the same, the woman wants more which I can't offer.

I'm that confusing.