The end

I don't like this blog. I never have. It's not me at all. For some reason it seems so....vanilla. It's not the way I write, nor is it the subject matter I normally write about. It seems so safe.

I KNOW this is why I don't blog very often. I don't like the feel of this blog. I successfully blogged for years under another guise. I only stopped that one because it was time to let it die. I think that's where this one is going. It's dying. Better said, it's dead.

Blogging for me is very much a feel thing. If I don't feel it, I don't blog about it. I never really felt this blog. It was almost as if I was forcing myself to write simply because I like writing. That's a problem.

This blog never contained any of the humor, slanted perspective, or observations that I normally write from...

So this blog is now dead, not that it was ever alive....I bid you all adieu.

If you want, msg me on IM anytime:

Yahoo IM:anathematikx@yahoo.com
AIM: anathematik1@aol.com

I will blog again. I'm working on that now.

I love today. It's one of those days that you feel good about everything. I stopped by this little coffee shop on the way into work and felt like all eyes were on me. I felt noticed. That's always a good feeling.

Loud Mouth Guy is still a pain in the ass. I'll have to tell you about the latest incident.

My coworker and I were on IM today and here's our conversation, keep in mind that she's gay:

[09:35] CoWorker: i decided in our meeting yesterday that Ambigously Gay Guy #2 is a mass murderer
[09:35] CoWorker: he's scary
[09:35] Me: LOL
[09:35] Me: i was thinking that he and Ambigously Gay Guy #1 should hook up
[09:35] CoWorker: seriously...he prefers to strangle and stab, because it's more hands on
[09:36] CoWorker: i can see him, totally losing it, on a man whore
[09:36] Me: but that could be problem because Ambigously Gay Guy #1 seems like a bottom and so does Ambigously Gay Guy #2
[09:36] CoWorker: yeah, they may have issues with that
[09:36] CoWorker: of course, there CAN be two bottoms
[09:36] Me: how?
[09:36] CoWorker: but you never know...did you know that Openly Gay Guy is top?
[09:36] CoWorker: sometimes, boys suprise me
[09:37] Me: i thought Openly Gay Guy was a bottom
[09:37] Me: id be a top...i'm way to dominate in personality to be a bottom
[09:37] CoWorker: no, Openly Gay Guy's a top
[09:37] CoWorker: see what i mean...you never know
[09:38] CoWorker: Ambigously Gay Guy #2's a top i betcha
[09:38] CoWorker: i'm teling you....he's creepy...he's way too quiet and complacent. i think he's hiding a terrible secret
[09:38] Me: he probably is cruel to animals too
[09:38] Me: and wets the bed
[09:38] CoWorker: omg
[09:38] CoWorker: wets the bed....totally
[09:39] Me: he probably has rubber sheets
[09:39] CoWorker: pulls the legs off of frogs...and then goes and burns puppies and stuf
[09:39] CoWorker: ewww
[09:39] CoWorker: rubber sheets, for all the lube he and Ambigously Gay Guy #1 use
[09:42] Me: Ambigously Gay Guy #1 is a cuddler though..Ambigously Gay Guy #2 wouldn't want to cuddle afterwards
[09:42] CoWorker: no, Ambigously Gay Guy #2 would want to cut off his weiner afterwards
[09:42] CoWorker: i'm telling you....
[09:43] Me: youre killing me
[09:44] CoWorker: ok...then here's a buzz kill for you. look at the description of my college class. this makes me want to throw myself off the top of our building:
[09:44] CoWorker: Description: blah blah blah.
[09:44] CoWorker: did you take this class in college?
[09:45] Me: yes i did..and i rocked at it
[09:45] CoWorker: i bet. asshole.
[09:45] Me: but i rock at EVERYTHING
[09:45] CoWorker: i beg to differ...you're kind of a tool
[09:45] Me: i'm going to have to start posting our conversations on my blog
[09:45] Me: tool is the new sexy
[09:45] CoWorker: you suffer from "hyperconfidencemia"
[09:45] CoWorker: lol
[09:45] CoWorker: uh oh
[09:48] CoWorker: i can't ifgure out where to go on vacatoin
[09:48] CoWorker: everytime i pick a spot, i find somewhere else
[09:49] CoWorker: where can i go that i can see monkeys in the wild, turtles and dolphins...and jungle
[09:49] CoWorker: drats
[09:51] Me: the zoo?
[09:55] CoWorker: Ambigously Gay Guy #1 has the gayest laugh i've ever seen...much gayer even than Openly Gay Guy
[09:56] CoWorker: everytime i hear it i think "Dude, go suck a dick and get it out of your system"
[09:56] Me: its one thing if i said it..but since youre gay too...it must be true
[09:56] CoWorker: it has to be... i should know
[10:15] Me: the new guy that works with Creepy Guy is a serial killer
[10:16] Me: the one that just walked by?
[10:16] CoWorker: he's SOOO creepy
[10:16] CoWorker: it's like he has a plastic puppet face
[10:16] Me: he has lots of porn i'm sure
[10:16] CoWorker: with a pasted on smile
[10:16] CoWorker: yeah..clown porn
[10:21] Me: eww

...I love my job!

blah blah blah

I had a good weekend. I watched the big fight at a bar with some friends and I watched two movies. The fight sucked. Spiderman was okay. A group of about 12 of us got together and all headed to see Spiderman. If I were you I'd wait for the DVD.

Today has been busy as hell at work. Normally Mondays are kind of slow but for some reason everyone wants something.

I decided that Cute College Girl wants something more than friendship. I just get that vibe from her. I've also decided to not pursue anything at all with her. She's still so young. I'd hate to be the man that ruins her outlook on men in general. I'll let someone else be responsible for her being jaded.

I was headed to the bathroom today and I walked by someone's office. They were audibly berating themselves. So I stopped and listened to them talk about how stupid they were. It was kind of funny and sad all at the same time.

Loud Mouth Guy is still irritating.

I swear I'm boring myself with this post.

I think I'll start writing poetry again.

I feel bad sort of...

I had the funniest IM conversation with one of my coworkers the other day. I got her permission to post it. I'll post it later.

It's Friday and I feel pretty good with the exception of my knee. That still hurts and it's been preventing me from riding my motorcycle. Lately, when I ride my knee hurts as soon as I get off my bike. So I'm headed to the docotor next week to have it checked again.

Beautiful and I seem to be at something of a standstill. I can't stand her some days. She's still around. The arguing has slowed down some but I wonder if that's a side effect of me caring less each day.

I had a dream the other night about this one lady. I'll call her The Older Woman. She and I almost hooked up last year. She's married. She was entertaining the idea of having drinks with me. My work brings me into contact with her from time to time. She initiated the idea of having drinks.

So one day we're talking and she goes (paraphrased),
The Older Woman: I don't know if I can cheat on my husband.
Me: Huh? I thought we were having drinks?
The Older Woman: We are but doesn't that mean that you're going to sleep with me?
Me: No. It just means we're having drinks.
The Older Woman: Oh. I thought you wanted to have sex with me.
Me: That's assuming a lot. I thought we would have drinks and go from there.
The Older Woman: I really thought we were going to have sex.
Me: I never assumed that at all. Don't get me wrong, I think you're hot as hell but....
The Older Woman: So maybe we shouldn't do this.
Me: That works for me.

Now she goes out of her way to talk to me. I think she was spurred on by the fact that I didn't want to simply sleep with her. It's a pursuit thing I'm sure. She's not being pursued and likes that. My long winded point is, I ran into her again and I had a hot ass dream about her that night. We ended up having really good sex in my dream. That same night Beautiful slept over and I'm really hoping I didn't talk in my sleep. Good thing it wasn't a wet dream either.

Cute College Girl stops by my desk yesterday. The conversation goes:

Cute College Girl: Anathematik, want some Starbucks?
Me: That depends on who's buying.
Cute College Girl: Well I'll buy for you.
Me: Cool. (I give her my order)

Fast forward to today; she stops by again to show me her new shoes. She was sans titty shirt. My coworker noticed that whenever she stops by she's always wearing really tight shirts that accentuate her mammaries. I felt bad because I was sitting there with Starbucks and never offered to get some for her. She looked hurt. My coworker said I was under no obligation to buy her coffee. My coworker also said it's her fault because she always flirts with me. My coworker is a female so I'll take her word for it.

Loud Mouth Guy is still around. Today he's wearing sunglasses indoors. Either that or they are those stupid self tinting glasses. I'm so tempted to sing Corey Hart's, 'I wear my sunglasses at night so I can, so I can...'

That's all. I have a busy weekend planned. Hope you do too. Pax.

I'm thinking about changing the title to my blog. It just sounds so dark. I'm not a dark person. In fact, I'm very upbeat and laid back at the same time. It's a personal conundrum, my personality.

I've also decided I'm going to become a sugar daddy for some lucky coed. I'm kidding, I was just trying to think of way to use the word 'coed' in a sentence and that's what I came up with, however....I really did decide I'm going to date someone younger than me.

I'm thinking I'm going to date someone in the 19-20 year old range. I've given this lots of thought.

I'm 30 years old. If I hooked up with a girl that was say, 19, I could easily chalk up anything to my age. I could also use the line, "With age comes wisdom," infinitum. She would have no choice but to accept what I say as fact because I've seen it all before.

Also with such an age gap I could be cool and retro because I was there the first time whatever it is was hip.

You may be asking why someone so young? I couldn't date an 18 year old because I would feel slimy. If she were 19? That's the cut off for not feeling slimy. Why before 21? NEVER date a girl that's 21. That's royal oats sowing time. When a girl first hits 21 she's out hitting all the hot spots getting shitty drunk. How's a 21 year old girl going to have time for a sugar daddy when that new emo band with cute bass player is playing at the new ale house? Of course this doesn't apply to all girls that just turned 21, I'd put that number at roughly 65%.

Can you imagine the conversations we'd have? I could her captive with my tales of walking to school in the snow without shoes, before cars were invented. I could fascinate her with stories of how people actually talked on the phone before text messages. The good old days.

Of course this all assuming that some nerd girl doesn't sweep me off my feet first. Nerd girls are so hot.